2851miles... Home Sweet Home

Sigh...

...a gruelling six hour ferry trip was one thing - we arrived back in the country at 2000hrs, but weren't allowed off until 2045...

...we then had a four hour drive from Harwich back up here to contend with, giving an ETA of 00:45... as we headed up the A1 we were diverted (without a diversion route to follow) as it was completely closed because of accidents... just what we needed!

Anyway, we're home now - Metro is, of course, still in one piece - he didn't miss a beat on the journey up here. It's great to be back on British roads, driving on the left again feels so much better (although Keith did have one slip up on the way home on one of our A1 diversions driving up an unlit, unused country lane on the right hand side - oops!). It's amazing as well how comforting British roadsigns are, you don't take any notice of them when you drive, yet when you have been suffering the Europe's badly designed signs for so long, you really do appreciate it...

Metro probably feels much better as well - we saw four other Metro's on the way back up here and now he's home... After unpacking in the morning, weather dependent, he will get a good wash, hoover and polish...

Off to bed now... Absolutely knackered - considering we left the campsite in Amsterdam at 10am their time, now is after 2am... Where could we have flown in sixteen hours?!

2616miles... Hoek van Holland

Having left the campsite and made our way to the port through streams and streams of traffic (on badly designed Dutch roads), we now have time to reflect on our stay in Amsterdam.

The campsite, whilst clean and friendly was very untrusting - they had to watch us leave with our luggage (in case we sneakily tried to stay an extra night for free?) and they had blue lights in the showers and toilets to stop us from seeing our veins... Can you imagine the clientele we were camping with?

Amsterdam itself was a huge let down and we see absolutely no reason for anybody to ever visit...

• If you want a boozy weekend, go to Eastern Europe. Amsterdam was charging anything up to £4 a pint
  
• If you want a sex shop, go online
  
• If you want drugs, talk to that 'dodgy friend' - everybody has one!

Other than that it was just like Blackpool but without the tower... Retrospective clairvoyancey is a wonderful tool...

We're currently sat waiting to check-in onto the boat and should be on our way homeward at 1445...

Sex, wax and conical bras...

Today's weather started pretty much the same as yesterday, thunderstorms. However, once we got into the city it had all calmed down again and we headed to Madame Tussauds.

What a waste of time and money. It started with a tour of Amsterdam in the 1300s with poorly animated speaking models trying to make out that the place has an interesting story. We were then moved to Pirates of the Carribean which consisted of second rate actors trying to scare you whilst taking you round a badly kitted out dungeon - none of which resembled any of the three films. Finally we were left to look around celebrities' models. However, as this is only Amsterdam, all the models were London's cast offs so they didnt look like what you see in Heat - Madonna had cones, Kylie had long hair and Tina Turner looked in her teens!

In an attempt to make the day more interesting, we visited the Sex Museum. We found that it was just an excuse for the two dirty old men that ran it to get their dirty photos out - hardly a museum.

Tommorrow we will leave Amsterdam - neither of us can wait...

Still in Amsterdam...

The British weather we seem to have escaped from for these past two weeks has finally caught up with us - or is it just that we're getting closer to Britain?

It's done nothing but rain here today so we began heading to the Van Gogh Museum to stay indoors. Having walked around in circles for an hour, we gave up and remembered that neither of us even like art!

We hit a bar and had a pint instead. En route, we caught the eye of more "ladies" scantily clad in windows... This is before midday!

After drink, still raining like mad, we went shopping. For a major city, it was grim. Apart from junkie "Amsterdam" shops selling t-shirts and mugs, we visited C&A which made us totally give up! Lastly we headed to a supermarket for ingredients to make "special beans on toast"...

Amsterdam...

Having been offered both cocaine and "sleaze and filth" last night (all amongst dancing Jabbas at windows in bikinis), we decided to be more cultured today and hit the museums.

We tried Anne Frank's house, but she wasn't in. So we headed on down to "Amsterdams Historisch Museum". At the beginning we were told how the city was built then there was an exhibit or two to explain why they have never accomplished anything as a nation before a brief explanation on how they handed control to the Nazis in 1940 before we got to a final justification of why the city is full of sex and drugs.

From there we visited the Heineken Experience. What an experience that was! The journey through explains all about the brand and the brewing methods and then onto a couple of free lagers (from which we kept two glasses - rude not to) and a complementary bottle opener.

Without further trekking to more museums, there doesn't seem anything else left to see. The red light district is very Blackpool and there doesn't seem to be any charm like you get in the likes of Prague... Suppose that's what the drugs are for...

2548 miles... Amsterdam

James did all of todays driving, the last continental stretch from The Montana to Amsterdam. After some traffic, we arrived at a campsite at just before 3.

The campsite is very professional and clean and is a 15minute walk from a free ferry that takes you into the city centre.

After pitching, we headed into the centre to check it out and grab our first meal of the day. Finally found somewhere worth eating in, although we didnt find anything but beer and burgers!

We had a good trek around the centre, and set to maxing out the credit cards in the sex shops. Haha! Afterwards, we settled for a coffee and a slice of cake!

2321 miles...Diemelstadt

Guten tag from the Diemelstadt service station alongside Autobahn 44.

We're disappointed with Germany - it's far too big, all seems to be flat and theres nothing to look at. The Autobahn's aren't all their cracked up to be - you don't go any faster than what you do at home. Although, it has to be said that Metro did a ton today - albeit downhill and with the wind behind him!

We left the Autobahn about 50miles ago into a German 'National Park' in search for a campsite. The 'Park' consisted of a few trees, couple of villages and endless road works. Considering the last experience in a German campsite (between Innsbruck and Salzburg) we decided to head for a hotel and catch up on some washing.

So here we are, The Montana Hotel - small, clean room covered in underwear, socks and shirts drying!

Next stop, Amsterdam. Looking at around a 3-4 hour drive from here so, all being well, we should be sat in a nice cafe bar this time tommorrow... having a muffin!

Sbohem Praha & Cêská Republika

As we write we are headed north westerly away from Prague towards the German border. We've decided that Berlin is far too big a city for us to fully appreciate in the time we have left so will be concentrating on getting through Germany and as close to the Netherlands as possible so that we can spend as many days in Amsterdam as we can.

Prague has been great over the last day or two. As we have both been here before, nothing was new, but it was refreshing to see the city at the height of summer rather than the depths of Winter. That said, we both agree that it is a much nicer city in winter - much more picturesque, far fewer tourists (the place was full of Americans with their annoying accent and Japanese with their uniform cameras).

Metro has enjoyed a couple of days rest at the campsite whilst we revisited the city. When he was on the road, he was unique next to the multitude of Skodas around.

We should arrive at an unknown German destination at some point this afternoon...

Last day in Prague...

We started the day in a nice spangly new tent that we bought yesterdays from Tesco (half the price of the same one in Batley - bargain).

We met a couple from mid-Wales on the campsite who are on week ten of fourteen of a trans-European expedition on a tandem. They have covered a similar route to us, only adding Croatia and Hungary in between Austria and Czech. They expect to be home in four weeks - we have less than a week left!

After breakfast, we had a bimble up to the castle and halfway up stopped for Irish Coffee and Panacotta with hot strawberries... Mmmm! We went to the same place last time we were here as it has views of the whole city - its a much nicer view in the winter as everything snow capped.

For a rest, as the heat started to get to us, we went back to the campsite for a beer and a game of chess that we bought in an Austrian Aldi at the weekend. Mid-game it started to rain so we headed for the tent only to find that it was wetter inside than out! Not amused! We ripped it down, put the old one back up, and hiked back to Tesco to get a refund.

Just had a Czech meal featuring dumplings galore! Now completely stuffed and washing it down with tankards of Pilsner Urquell.

We're going to be setting off westwards tommorrow in pursuit of Amsterdam... Only downside will be another overnighter in Germany - lets hope its better than the last one...

Still in Prague...

Things are much the same as last time we came, none of the sights have changed - only difference is the lack of snow and the 25+ temperatures (even if we had just had a huge rain downpour!).

We have spent this morning going around the main city, seeing a bit of the shops and the main strip. Just going to head off to the Jewish quarter on the opposite side of the river to have a mooch around there and then head up to see Prague Castle.

The campsite we're on is very simple, but nice - the showers for example are communal and the toilets are very sixties - but clean all the same! It's a lot better than some that we've been to, such as Germany where we were camped on gravel (same as Paris) and had to have cold showers!!

Nothing much else to report... We'll be having another day here tomorrow before we set off westwards en route to Amsterdam... Metro hasn't moved today - think he is probably enjoying the break after his jaunt so far!

1974 miles... Praha

Having exhausted Salzburg for sightseeing yesterday, we set off for the only destination we planned to visit - Prague.

After a five hour drive (with Metro producing a stellar 52mpg) we arrived and set up camp. The journey was uneventful though importantly dry and sunny. The mountainous backdrop we were used to from both Austria and Switzerland was quickly replaced with a more British rolling countryside.

After pitching up on an island in the middle of the river at the heart of Prague we ventured into the city using a perfect public transport system that only Communism could build - so far, the only benefit of Democracy is that you have to pay for it.

The last time we visited, the city was covered in snow at -11 degrees. Today was entirely different with Prague enjoying a high-twenties summer. Naturally, we went off in search of a pint of Staropramen - setting us back only 70p each!

Tommorrow we will be sight seeing, so will have some photos to upload. Metro will be enjoying a well-deserved rest at the campsite til we go west on Friday..

1727miles... Salzburg

After yesterdays brilliant sunshine, we were surprised that Germany was so dank and miserable this morning (just like the people). With it just being a halfway point in between Innsbruck and Salzburg, we left sharpish and got back on track for Austria.

We arrived in Salzburg at around lunchtime and pitched up on a campsite on the outskirts of the city, at the foot of the Gaisberg Mountain. Once we had become settled we headed into Salzburg for an Austrian lunch (Deer Stew & Beef Goulash).

Sightseeing is limited in Salzburg and it has the same shops on its high street as anywhere else. However there are a couple of scenes that you might recognise from The Sound of Music, but we didn't see any girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes or singing nuns for that matter!

We'll be back on the road in the morning en route to Praha. Metro has had a nice easy city day today - think we've seen the last of the big hills...

1663 miles... Herrenchiemsee

We left Italy this morning in sight of Austria. Passo Rombo was bad, it was clear why it closed at 8 - no streetlights, no barriers to stop you falling 2.5 thousand metres.

Metro was distinctly better today - he's probably getting used to the hills - we only had to stop to let him cool down once on the way up and on the way down, the mountain air was enough to cool him.

The scenery on the way over was immense and reminded us of Switzerland. All of the roads were zig zag up and zig zag down - on the way down, a fat German couple that we drove past fell off their motorbike around the 320 degree turn - hahaha!

We got intro Austria and headed for Innsbruck. The city itself is very picturesque, set between mountains. However, as it was Sunday, everything seemed to be shut so walking around produced nothing.

We then headed off on motorways towards Salzburg (which, because of the mountains between the cities, involves us going through Germany). As the drive to Salzburg was going to be too much, we have stopped in a German camp at Herrenchiemsee til the morning until we make our way to Salzburg...

Timmelsjoch - Passo Rombo

Following our Italian misfortune, we headed for the Austrian border in the hope that things would take on a more Swiss feel, allowing us to forget the experience of Italy.

On Saturday morning, we woke up completely unaware as to where we were due to the circumstances that got us there. We headed towards Lecco and then northwards to escape. However, things did not go as planned due to the state of the Italian roads and the inclines that Metro was having to deal with.

We got to Merano at around about 4 yesterday afternoon and decided that rather than slum it there, we would push on to the border as there are a number of campsites just as you get into Austria.

The road we were on was to take us over the mountains using Passo Rombo. It was only as we left Merano that we found out that the pass shuts at 2000hrs. Quickly after finding that out, we camped in a German-centric village - Keith had poorly made Italian food for dinner and James had a German pork dish (he has had the same dish 3 times in the last week and each time it has been called something different on the menu!)

The campsite was typical of the climate - hot and humid. It was, therefore, riddled with ants the size of your hand and flies bigger than that.

You won't be surprised to learn that we were looking forward to getting to Austria today...

Arrivederci l'Italie

Last night was disasterous. Once we arrived at Lake Como we visited the campeggio we had intended to stay at to pitch up. It was disgusting so we didnt bother staying and went for something to eat. Whilst eating, we scanned the map and saw plenty of campsites around Como en route to Lecco - perfect, not too far from Milano so things could still go as planned today.

Wrong again. We had a hard enough time getting through Como - the Italians seem to have a habit of flooding the roadside with signs that are full of words, pictures and arrows that mean absolutely nothing. On the road to Lecco, there were absolutely no signs of any campsites - despite what the map said.

Then, from nowhere a field that was full of campervans appeared. We entered on the nearest road and was directed by an Italian in a high vis jacket, which we thought was strange for a campsite. Next thing we knew, we were ushered to a parking space by a man obsessed with his whistle. It was then we realised that this must be some sort of cult gathering or concert - probably for the Hoff - so we made our way out to the loud, excited whistles of the parking man because we had upset his parking system.

After about an hours further driving in circles, following meaningless signs, we stumbled accross a hotel and headed straight for it.

The hotel, "Il Corazziere", was really nice, no complaints. We helped ourselves to soap and shampoo - its rude not to -and then had a continental breakfast this morning - are they ever nice and/or satisfying?

As we write we are heading for the border, fed up with Italian life already. Not to mention the uncivilized roads and the sheer amount of original Fiat Pandas around. Hopefully, we will be in Austria by about mid-afternoon and, if it lives up to our expectations, starndards will be far beyond the reach of Italy, or France for that matter, and we will be back to a Swiss-like luxury.

1262 miles... Lake Como

We left Switzerland to the south this morning and descended upon the Alps. Metro struggled up some of the inclines, but on the whole did very well and we steadily made our climb to the top. He was mainly disadvantaged by the lower oxygen levels and the heat. Halfway up we stopped to let him cool down.

The heights were signed as we passed them and the highest we got was 3km above sea level - not sure what that is in English?

The Alps themselves were huge. Covered in ice and snow at the top, and below this we found either trees galore or sheer cliff faces. The views we had were phenomenal.

As we dropped into Italy, the climate became hot and humid at 32 degrees - not the same feeling we got in Switzerland.

On arrival to Italy we were pulled by customs to have Metro searched and passports checked. We then made our way to Lake Como, about fifteen miles north of Milano. Tommorrow, we will make our way down there to do some sightseeing and window shopping and to give Metro a rest!

Auf Wiedersehen Suisse

We're currently headed for the Alps and will be driving over them, making our way south to drop into Northern Italy.

Metro is still running faultlessly and we have even managed to stud him for a scenic photo or two before we cross the border.

Switzerland has, most definitely, provided us with the best experience so far in terms of hospitality, driving conditions and of course the stunning views we have seen. We will definitely be back...

Thuner See and Brienzer See

This morning we awoke to sun-drenched, snow-capped mountains. We have spent the day so far driving around the two local lakes and visiting both Interlaken and Thun.

For lunch, we sat on a terrace alongside Thuner See and watched ducklings learn to swim against the tide whilst struggling ourselves to order food from a German menu.

Nothing much else to report - setting off for Milano in the morning, so should have some good alpine photos of the journey to upload tomorrow. As yet there haven't been any signs to welcome us to France, Germany or Switzerland for us to have Metro posed against. As soon as we find one, Metro will be pulling his Vogue face!

1004 miles... Thun

Strasbourg wasnt what we expected yesterday. Whilst the campsite was nice and we did find a lovely little 'boulangerie' for 'pain au chocolate et cafè', the rest of the city was far too busy, full of traffic and generally confusing.

Considering this, we decided to leave asap and headed for the border. We made our way down a German Autobahn to get to Switzerland.

Germany/Switzerland is noticeably different to France in terms of cleanliness and general civility. Everything seems to have a purpose and is more upkept.

We headed for the next city on the route and set our sights for Bern. However, considering how idyllic the scenery of Switzerland is (of which we have seen very little so far) we decided that perhaps city life wasnt for us so headed for what looked like lakes and mountains (at least on our Michelin maps - courtesy of Denise).

Some hours later, in the distance appeared mountains in the clouds and we knew we were on to a winner. We picked the small town of Thun, next to Lake Thun (think Bala lake only with mountains 4 times the size and water like its out of a tap, Janice, Iain & the kids).

The campsite is right on the lake with ducks walking round. We visited the camp restaurant for a meal (all German staff and all German menu). James remembered that Schweine was pork, so thats what we ordered! Great staff, really friendly - not a word of English, but hey we're no better!

Having done over 500 miles in the last 36hrs, we've decided to stay here and do things Suisse for a day or two

Metro had a milestone today and, in the depths of a Swiss Valley, he drove his fifty thousandth mile! Well done Mr Half Century! Oh, and he did another phenomenal 47.6mpg again - good old British Leyland theres an achievement the press didn't wish to share with us...

900 miles from home, yet...

... Taxi drivers still drive like tools
... Buses think they own the road so therefore pull out whenever they please
... White van men get as close as they physically can
... Wherever you go, you get a wonky table that needs fixing with a beer mat

793 miles... Strasbourg

France is so much nicer than Paris. Once we left (which was an ordeal in itself due to Boulevard Periphique) we found that prices dropped, people got friendlier and there was a significant reduction in the number of Smart Cars on the roads.

The journey to Strasbourg was long which was mainly due to avoiding being fleeced by toll roads. The scenery wasn't much to write home about in the mid country - farm upon farm upon field upon field. However, as we left Champagne and got to Alsace, things quickly took on a more Germanic feel - you can tell we're smack on the border.

Strasbourg was originally only picked as a halfway house between Paris and Bern. Yet, as it turns out it looks quite promising. The campsite is very welcoming, leafy and green with all mod cons in a great location for investigating Strasbourg tomorrow.

As we write, we're sat under a tree drinking a 1.5 litre vin du table - all of £1! Just tucking in to suprisingly tasty tinned Canneloni with French bread - or are we just weary, tired and hungry?

Metro today hasn't, of course, caused any problems and, despite the warmer climate, has boasted an uber-frugal 47.6 mpg!

Gay Paris...

Woke up this morning at 9, sun was shining and we set off on public transport to see the the sights of Paris. We trekked the length and breadth of the city centre and saw the Eiffel Tower, Arc de Triomphe (surrounded by the worlds most chaotic roundabout), the Champs Elysees and then trudged round the Louvre.

We then headed off to Notre Dame where the sore feet and hunger hit us so we settled for a meal and a few bottles on the banks of the Seine instead.

Absolutely knackered now... Metro has been sat at the campsite all day and lapped up the sun...

We'll be escaping this mad city in the morning... Next stop, Strasbourg

485miles... Paris et le camping

We arrived at Calais and the weather wasnt much different than Dover, if not worse. Driving on the wrong side of the road came naturally, but forking out 17 euros for a toll road took the piss. The roads aren't bad - we've come to the conclusion that although the French can't build decent cars, they can do good roads - their difficulties lie in the ability to drive on them with any degree of sanity. Metro has, of course, been faultless.

So far, any signs of cheaper prices has eluded us - petrol is the same if not more expensive and we have yet to find anywhere that resembles a supermarket - with the exception of 'le expensiv mini-marche' on the campsite

282miles... Dover

Well, last night was disappointing... The Dome is, after all, still just a tent - although AEG and O2 have done a good job decking it out. As it was 'The Premiere', they planned Peter Kay (telling the same jokes from both his DVDs and wearing that same suit and blue shirt - Garlic Bread!), Tom Jones (who managed to murder each of his own songs) followed by the Kaiser Chiefs and Basement Jaxx (neither of which we saw because, like so many others, we got sick of Tom Jones' screeching and left)

This morning, we've had an uneventful journey, the weather hasnt been the best but we got here from London in about 2hrs. We did see a couple of Mk1 and 2 Escorts as well as an Allegro Sport!

As I write, were sat watching Sea France purge its loins ready to take us aboard.
Next stop, Calais and then onto Paris...

Das Boot...

As I write, were blitzing down the M6 Toll, and £4 lighter for the privilege. The sat nav tells us that we've got just over 100 miles til we get to London. Once we arrive, we'll check into our Thistle hotel and then head off to The O2 Premiere, the launch party of the Millenium Dome as something useful. So were told, theres an action packed afternoon and evening planned for us, so we'll keep you updated.

The biggest escapade this week (apart from fitting and sealing a new sunroof seal) has been packing - mainly working out what we needed, what we already had and what we needed to beg, borrow or steal to get. As it happens, the majority of the kit was packed in Das Boot by Thursday evening - with the exception of a fire extinguisher that we have yet to purchase! It really was surprising just how much we have managed to fit in to the boot... Half of the reason we didn't get a Mini, Steve. Oh the sophistication of a modern British hatch! Haha

The Route...

The route that we came up with was just thrown together as we didn't have any specific plans to visit any of the cities that we are en route to, with the exception of Prague. With that, we had a blank canvas of the whole of Western Europe that is reachable in a two and a half week space in a car, logic makes the route a circle so we aren't having to dump the car or have too long a boat ride back to England.

The begining of the route (with the exceptions of Cleckheaton and Widnes) is London, for The O2 Premiere. We will be driving to London on Saturday 23rd June for a night in "The O2" (Millenium Dome) courtesy of O2, seeing Tom Jones, The Kaiser Chiefs and Basement Jaxx. The next day, Sunday, we picked the cheapest ferry crossing to get to the continent, which was Dover to Calais - leaving at 1100hrs.

The task was then to think of an interesting way to get to Prague (and back again!), seeing as many sites as possible... So here we have it...

• London, England


• Paris, France


• Strasbourg, France


• Bern, Switzerland


• Milan, Italy


• Salzburg, Austria


• Prague, Czech Republic


• Berlin, Germany


• Amsterdam, The Netherlands

The rough planning around the route has given us on the whole a days driving, sleep over, day in a city, sleep over, leave for the next place. We haven't booked any campsites, hotels, hostels, anything at all en route, so everything will be off the cuff. The only thing we have booked is the ferry back to England, leaving the Hook of Holland at 1445 on 11/07/07, and arriving at Harwich at 2015 on 11/07/07 - leaving a final four hour journey back to Cleckheaton.

The Car...

Well, after trawling ebay and the autotrader for a couple of weeks and a couple of visits to see shoddy Metros, we finally had it narrowed down to three prospective cars.

The first one was an Austin Metro Vanden Plas from Birmingham, it looked nice, leather seats, leccy windows, the works - however, it was from 1985 and a quick call to the owner told us it wouldnt be reliable enough for a jaunt around Europe. Gutted, luxury would have been good, but not as good as a car that will get us around in one piece!

The second was a red Rover Metro Manhattan from Skipton. We liked the look of this on autotrader, but when we came to view it, it had already sold.

Last but not least was Rochdale's Rover Metro Tahiti Special. This had a 1.1 engine, five gears, three doors, a sunroof and the bodywork was in great condition. This is what we went for, for the princely sum of £500. The deal was done and there we go, owners of a Metro... All we needed then was somewhere to go in it!

The Idea...

The idea first came to us just before Christmas when flicking around the Internet, we came across the Crumball Rally (http://crumballrally.com/)... Involving a 3-day roadtrip across Europe, in a "banger" (ideally a Metro) that cost under £200 to buy...

With this idea, we set out on a mission to find an el cheapo Metro for less than £200 to go on the roadtrip with... However, places started to fill up fast and the entry costs to go onto the Crumball Rally was around £120 per team, not including accommodation... Just for three days...

With that idea, I set around planning a roadtrip around Europe that would just have the two of us on, going to places that we wanted to go to and lasting as long as we wanted it to...

The Plan...

One car...
Two passengers...
Eight countries...
Nine cities...
Sixteen days...

Roadtrip round Europe in a Rover Metro Tahiti Special!