2851miles... Home Sweet Home

Sigh...

...a gruelling six hour ferry trip was one thing - we arrived back in the country at 2000hrs, but weren't allowed off until 2045...

...we then had a four hour drive from Harwich back up here to contend with, giving an ETA of 00:45... as we headed up the A1 we were diverted (without a diversion route to follow) as it was completely closed because of accidents... just what we needed!

Anyway, we're home now - Metro is, of course, still in one piece - he didn't miss a beat on the journey up here. It's great to be back on British roads, driving on the left again feels so much better (although Keith did have one slip up on the way home on one of our A1 diversions driving up an unlit, unused country lane on the right hand side - oops!). It's amazing as well how comforting British roadsigns are, you don't take any notice of them when you drive, yet when you have been suffering the Europe's badly designed signs for so long, you really do appreciate it...

Metro probably feels much better as well - we saw four other Metro's on the way back up here and now he's home... After unpacking in the morning, weather dependent, he will get a good wash, hoover and polish...

Off to bed now... Absolutely knackered - considering we left the campsite in Amsterdam at 10am their time, now is after 2am... Where could we have flown in sixteen hours?!

2616miles... Hoek van Holland

Having left the campsite and made our way to the port through streams and streams of traffic (on badly designed Dutch roads), we now have time to reflect on our stay in Amsterdam.

The campsite, whilst clean and friendly was very untrusting - they had to watch us leave with our luggage (in case we sneakily tried to stay an extra night for free?) and they had blue lights in the showers and toilets to stop us from seeing our veins... Can you imagine the clientele we were camping with?

Amsterdam itself was a huge let down and we see absolutely no reason for anybody to ever visit...

• If you want a boozy weekend, go to Eastern Europe. Amsterdam was charging anything up to £4 a pint
  
• If you want a sex shop, go online
  
• If you want drugs, talk to that 'dodgy friend' - everybody has one!

Other than that it was just like Blackpool but without the tower... Retrospective clairvoyancey is a wonderful tool...

We're currently sat waiting to check-in onto the boat and should be on our way homeward at 1445...

Sex, wax and conical bras...

Today's weather started pretty much the same as yesterday, thunderstorms. However, once we got into the city it had all calmed down again and we headed to Madame Tussauds.

What a waste of time and money. It started with a tour of Amsterdam in the 1300s with poorly animated speaking models trying to make out that the place has an interesting story. We were then moved to Pirates of the Carribean which consisted of second rate actors trying to scare you whilst taking you round a badly kitted out dungeon - none of which resembled any of the three films. Finally we were left to look around celebrities' models. However, as this is only Amsterdam, all the models were London's cast offs so they didnt look like what you see in Heat - Madonna had cones, Kylie had long hair and Tina Turner looked in her teens!

In an attempt to make the day more interesting, we visited the Sex Museum. We found that it was just an excuse for the two dirty old men that ran it to get their dirty photos out - hardly a museum.

Tommorrow we will leave Amsterdam - neither of us can wait...

Still in Amsterdam...

The British weather we seem to have escaped from for these past two weeks has finally caught up with us - or is it just that we're getting closer to Britain?

It's done nothing but rain here today so we began heading to the Van Gogh Museum to stay indoors. Having walked around in circles for an hour, we gave up and remembered that neither of us even like art!

We hit a bar and had a pint instead. En route, we caught the eye of more "ladies" scantily clad in windows... This is before midday!

After drink, still raining like mad, we went shopping. For a major city, it was grim. Apart from junkie "Amsterdam" shops selling t-shirts and mugs, we visited C&A which made us totally give up! Lastly we headed to a supermarket for ingredients to make "special beans on toast"...

Amsterdam...

Having been offered both cocaine and "sleaze and filth" last night (all amongst dancing Jabbas at windows in bikinis), we decided to be more cultured today and hit the museums.

We tried Anne Frank's house, but she wasn't in. So we headed on down to "Amsterdams Historisch Museum". At the beginning we were told how the city was built then there was an exhibit or two to explain why they have never accomplished anything as a nation before a brief explanation on how they handed control to the Nazis in 1940 before we got to a final justification of why the city is full of sex and drugs.

From there we visited the Heineken Experience. What an experience that was! The journey through explains all about the brand and the brewing methods and then onto a couple of free lagers (from which we kept two glasses - rude not to) and a complementary bottle opener.

Without further trekking to more museums, there doesn't seem anything else left to see. The red light district is very Blackpool and there doesn't seem to be any charm like you get in the likes of Prague... Suppose that's what the drugs are for...

2548 miles... Amsterdam

James did all of todays driving, the last continental stretch from The Montana to Amsterdam. After some traffic, we arrived at a campsite at just before 3.

The campsite is very professional and clean and is a 15minute walk from a free ferry that takes you into the city centre.

After pitching, we headed into the centre to check it out and grab our first meal of the day. Finally found somewhere worth eating in, although we didnt find anything but beer and burgers!

We had a good trek around the centre, and set to maxing out the credit cards in the sex shops. Haha! Afterwards, we settled for a coffee and a slice of cake!

2321 miles...Diemelstadt

Guten tag from the Diemelstadt service station alongside Autobahn 44.

We're disappointed with Germany - it's far too big, all seems to be flat and theres nothing to look at. The Autobahn's aren't all their cracked up to be - you don't go any faster than what you do at home. Although, it has to be said that Metro did a ton today - albeit downhill and with the wind behind him!

We left the Autobahn about 50miles ago into a German 'National Park' in search for a campsite. The 'Park' consisted of a few trees, couple of villages and endless road works. Considering the last experience in a German campsite (between Innsbruck and Salzburg) we decided to head for a hotel and catch up on some washing.

So here we are, The Montana Hotel - small, clean room covered in underwear, socks and shirts drying!

Next stop, Amsterdam. Looking at around a 3-4 hour drive from here so, all being well, we should be sat in a nice cafe bar this time tommorrow... having a muffin!

Sbohem Praha & Cêská Republika

As we write we are headed north westerly away from Prague towards the German border. We've decided that Berlin is far too big a city for us to fully appreciate in the time we have left so will be concentrating on getting through Germany and as close to the Netherlands as possible so that we can spend as many days in Amsterdam as we can.

Prague has been great over the last day or two. As we have both been here before, nothing was new, but it was refreshing to see the city at the height of summer rather than the depths of Winter. That said, we both agree that it is a much nicer city in winter - much more picturesque, far fewer tourists (the place was full of Americans with their annoying accent and Japanese with their uniform cameras).

Metro has enjoyed a couple of days rest at the campsite whilst we revisited the city. When he was on the road, he was unique next to the multitude of Skodas around.

We should arrive at an unknown German destination at some point this afternoon...